If anyone ever played Monkey Island
First line is the insults, Second being the reply
Every enemy I have met, I’ve annihilated.
With your breath, I’m sure they all suffocated.
You’re as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee.
I look that much like your fiancee?
Killing you would be justifiable homicide.
Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide.
You’re the ugliest monster ever created.
If you don’t count all the ones you’ve dated.
I’ll skewer you like a sow at a buffet.
When I’m done with you, you’ll be a boneless filet.
Would you like to be buried or cremated?
With you around, I’d rather be fumigated.
Coming face to face with me must leave you petrified.
Is that your face? I thought it was your backside.
When your father first saw you, he must have been mortified.
At least mine can be identified.
You can’t match my witty repartee.
I could, if you would use some breath spray.
I have never seen such clumsy swordplay.
You would have, but you were always running away.
En Garde! Touche!
Oh, that is so cliche.
Throughout the Caribbean, my great deeds are celebrated.
Too bad they’re all fabricated.
I can’t rest ‘til you’ve been exterminated.
Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated.
I’ll leave you devastated, mutilated, and peforated.
Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated and infuriated.
Heaven preseve me! You look like something that’s died!
The only way you’ll be preserved is in formaldehyde.
I’ll hound you night and day.
Then be a good dog. Sit! Stay!