Paraprosdokian

[B16Enk]

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part

of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes

the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is

frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an

anticlimax.

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his

level and beat you with experience.

2. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than

standing in a garage makes you a car.

3. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on

the list.

4. If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not

putting it in a fruit salad.

8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and

then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where

a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

10. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but

it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

11. Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity,

they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw

them fish.

12. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay

checks.

13. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says

"In an emergency, notify:" I put "Doctor".

14. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall

of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a

parachute to skydive twice.

17. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some

good ideas!

18. Hospitality: Making your guests feel like they're at home,

even if you wish they were.

19. I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be

devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my

foot.

20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone

down so they can't get away.

21. I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of

lemon, and a shot of tequila.

22. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the

Fire Department usually uses water.

23. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

24. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and then call

whatever you hit, the target.

[BluBear]

tee hee, very good!

[Crash]

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and then call

whatever you hit, the target.

Thats good advice I remember someone saying "Jeez, what are they doing there" after a bombing run

[B16Enk]

My personal favourite is the work station one..

[Jabo]

Nice to see you keeping up the literary standards around here Rog. After all, none of the teachers are at work...

Jabo

[DD_Brando]

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part

of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes

the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part.

We only have your word for this, Rog

It is

frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an

anticlimax.

Paraprosdokian?Are you just trying to win a game of Scrabble out there?

[B16Enk]

We only have your word for this, Rog

Paraprosdokian?Are you just trying to win a game of Scrabble out there?

Did I win?

The font of all misleading knowledge has an article on it

[DD_Brando]

We only have your word for this, Rog

Paraprosdokian?Are you just trying to win a game of Scrabble out there?

Did I win?

The font of all misleading knowledge has an article on it

with a late 20th century neologism you score double