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Why we split up


Blairgowrie

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She told me we couldn't afford single malt anymore and I'd have to quit.

Then I caught her spending $65.00 on make-up.

And I asked how come I had to give up stuff and not her.

She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me.

I told her that was what the scotch was for.

I don't think she's coming back...

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A guy and his wife were speeding down the highway when a cop pulls him over. The man says, "What's the problem officer?

Officer: "You were going at least 130 in a 100 zone."

Man: "No sir, I was going 110."

Wife: "Oh Harry, you were going 140." Man gives his wife a dirty look.

Officer: "I will also give you a ticket for your broken tail light."

Man: "Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light"

Wife: "Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for months." Man gives his wife a dirty look.

Officer: "I will also give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt."

Man: "Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car."

Wife: "Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt."

Man turns to his wife and yells, "Bitch, shut your damn mouth"

The Officer turns to the woman and says, "Ma'm does your husband talk to you this way all the time??

Wife says, "No, only when he's drunk."

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She told me we couldn't afford single malt anymore and I'd have to quit.

Then I caught her spending $65.00 on make-up.

And I asked how come I had to give up stuff and not her.

She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me.

I told her that was what the scotch was for.

I don't think she's coming back...

Good enough I passed it along. Thanks, BG.

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If any of you really think I have split with Helen, I want you to know that is not the case.

But if Doubletap wants to throw me some of his leftovers. WOOF, WOOF.

You mean food leftovers, or women leftovers? I have precious little of one, and I wouldn't think of eating any of the other...

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