Priory Of St Oleg - A Statement

[Friar]

It has come to the Priory's attention that previously secret film has come into the public domain. I refer to the film somehow obtained by Bluebear (I suspect some dodgy deal was done round the back of “The Downed Pilot” whilst Brenda the Buxom Barmaid was not looking) which shows the O.L.E.P (Special Nun Service) in training, if you have not seen it I must advise you not to look here http://dangerdogz.com/forums/topic/9199-are-these-friars-nuns/ as this is now classified.

As everyone is now aware, the O.L.E.P is a highly trained and honed group of Priory nuns who are assigned only the most dangerous and mission critical assignments. Their habits are Kevlar lined to protect them from any assailants weapons.

They were recently called into action when the supply lines for the Priory Wine Cellars Spiritual offerings were threatened by some striking French farmers. (The word "striking" here should be taken to mean that the “good for nothing lazy scrag end of a smelly pig” farmers had withdrawn their labour, not that they are visually appealing, because that would be, well, a bit gay, not that I have anything against homosexuals, I just would not want my daughter to marry one. )

They were despatched to France to ensure our consignment got through the picket lines. There was a bit of a slight “altercation” when one of the farmers held up the Priory lorry, Sister Amanda climbed down from her position of riding shotgun and approached said slacker, whispered something into his ear, at which point he crossed himself, clasped his hands and knelt down before her, Sister Amanda placed her hand gently on his bowed head, thus positioning it at just the right level for her knee to be brought crashing up into his pointy Gallic nose.

She of course crossed herself afterwards and asked the Abbot for forgiveness in doing the work of the Priory.

The lorry was able to continue on its way with no further hindrance.

One of the members of the group is Sister Jonathan, a 26 year old university graduate, left with a 2-2, that’s not qualifications; it is 2 wins 2 knockouts in the ancient university game of “Scrog-Brockerling”. This game first played in the back streets of Oxfordbridgeshire around 1800, 6pm being the optimum time for finding a “Scrog”, one of the key components of “Scrog-Brockerling”, came to the Priory looking for help as he felt he had lost his way, we very nearly lost him as the Sister that opened the door to him gave him directions and went to send him away as we were in the middle of some relaxation treatment training session and did not want to be disturbed, is a key member of the “re-alignment” team. This team is sent out on specialist duties to visit those members and associated members of the Priory to “assist” them in getting back on the straight and narrow in following the ways of the Priory and its love of all things IL2. It appears that his appointment diary is going to be quite full over the coming months what with people straying into other past-times...

[Tribunus]

~S~ Friar,

Mate, you could have saved yourself a great deal of time, money and effort simply by not buying wine from a bunch of Communists Frenchmen.

I personally believe that a UK bases Priory should be trying to support the handful of surviving English and Welsh wineries. I would think that it would be in the best interest of the Priory to keep those winery jobs in......"This sceptred isle, This earth of majesty, This other Eden, demi-paradise, This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England."

I will also admit that I am shocked and dismayed about learning of the existence of the O.L.E.P. You seem to have an entire detachment of highly trained and very female Sisters.

Yet in my darkest hour of need, you were only willing to dispatch Sister Jonathan to Cairo.

Could this have something to do with the fact that I've been flying Rise of Flight a lot here lately?

[Painless]

~S~ Colin m8,

It's all good stuff, I've always wanted to meet a nun with "balls"

PS : I thought you had given up correction fluid sniffing ??

~S~ P.

[Friar]

Sister jonathan is used as more of an advance party the sort of nun that can stick a lazer reflective dot on the forehead of col gadaffi without him knowing

I am sorry that you felt let down by the priory I will have words with the sister in charge then perhaps a hot tub together followed by a massage that should put her straight do I need to mobilise the olsp to "assist" you?

[DD_Arthur]

~S~ Colin m8,

It's all good stuff, I've always wanted to meet a nun with "balls"

S~ P.

Y'know I think I might have met "Sister Jonathan" at a double-bagger night at HMS Condor @1983!

[Tribunus]

do I need to mobilise the olsp to "assist" you?

~S~ Friar

I appreciate your kind offer Mate, but right now that will not be necessary.

Things are actually fairly calm here right now. The locals have not burnt down anything news worthy in several weeks.

Crime is still sky high, but that apparently is going to be the new normal in Post Revolutionary Egypt.

Please forgive me if I appeared to be ungrateful for the help that you did provide for me. I did not understand that Sister Jonathan was the Advanced Party. The sister in charge of the operation was vague as to the details of how large a contingent of Sisters was coming to Cairo. I’m sure it was a simple matter of Operational Security.

And, as I am sure you are well aware, Sister Jonathan doesn’t talk a whole lot.

Except to himself.

He spent most of the time that he was here staring out of the window, while sharpening a rather large knife. The occasional weeping was a little disturbing.