Court Transcripts

[CaptJackG]

Courts

These are from a book called "Disorder in the American Courts" and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

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ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

[Perfesser]

The prosecution rests.

[Zooly]

[BadAim]

This absolutely proves that education does not equal intelligence. ....and that passing the bar exam apparently equals neither.

[DD_Brando]

Owww! My ribs!

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

made my Monday

cheers Capt Jack

[Lothar]

Why is it always us law people who get the bashing >

But very funny quotes Cap'n, really had to hold myself together when I read them

[Strider]

This absolutely proves that education does not equal intelligence. ....and that passing the bar exam apparently equals neither.

So true, no matter what the vocation. Probably why I have so few friends who are lawyers.

But why do so many people call me at all times of the night for advise/action on such burning issues as "I didn't get next month's support cheque yet" and "Should I lend money to my drug-addict friend?" and "I think I may be arrested---should I leave town?" and "He's supposed to bring the kids back for 7:00. It's now 6:50. What should I do?". I refer such people to the old adage "Let your conscience be your guide.".

True Stories-----Judge---"I fine you the sum of $500.00. And if I really thought you were guilty, I'd send you to jail."

Judge---"Do you have any more liar...err, witnesses to call?"

Strider

[BadAim]

LOL, I know what you mean. The simple fact of the matter is that no more than 50% of the people out there doing anything are actually competent, personally I think its more like 20% (the 80-20 principal), but I try to be optimistic. I personally don't hang out with locksmiths much either, most of the ones I've met are imbeciles, there's only two or three I'd send my customers to.

I still find it amazing that with the Dogz, we have managed to find such a diverse group of people that seem to have a higher than average IQ. Or is it that I like to think that people I like must be smarter than average? Naaaaah, Dogz are just smart.