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Existence of God determined - once and for all.


Waldo.Pepper

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SCENE - ST. PETER'S GATE - Conversation in Progress

St. Peter (laughing)

So, wait...wait, let me get this straight. You climb into the lion cage-

Zagrev

Uh, yeah.

St. Peter

With the lions RIGHT THERE...

Zagrev

Yeah.

St. Peter

Unarmed?

Zagrev

Yes.

St. Peter

And after climbing in, you then shout "God will save me!"

Zagrev (annoyed)

Look, I already-

St. Peter

Wait. Humor me. So, after climbing in and yelling, "God will save me!", you then immediately question His existence...

Zagrev (sigh)

Yes.

St. Peter

So, basically you blaspheme by demanding God prove himself, and then in the same breath express doubt as to whether he even exists.

Zagrev

Well, look...

St. Peter

So, when that lion grabbed you by the throat...

Zagrev (winces)

Yeah?

St. Peter (winces himself)

Yikes. That HAD to hurt.

Zagrev

*$&% yeah.

St. Peter

No doubt. But, let me ask you, based on the expression you still have on your face....

Zagrev

Yes.

St. Peter

Were you REALLY that surprised? I mean, for those fleeting moments before it crushed your spinal column?

Zagrev

Well, yeah! It was kind of a shock, frankly.

St. Peter (pauses while dumbfounded)

WHY?!? It was a LION cage!

Zagrev (shrugs)

St. Peter (looks at Zagrev, shakes his head. Looks down at the man's bare feet)

Where are your shoes?

Zagrev

I took them off.

St. Peter (furrows brow)

Why did you take your shoes off?

Zagrev

I did not want to ruin them.

St. Peter blinks at Zagrev. Without looking away, he taps the intercom on his podium, which buzzes.

Satan (off camera)

You have reached Hell. Beelzebub here.

St. Peter

I have one for you.

Satan

OK, great. Send- Wait a second. Its not the Lion schmuck, is it?

St. Peter

Uhhh-

Satan

Oh, no WAY! I have enough Darwin rejects down here.

St. Peter

Hey, sorry, but gotta send him. It's a suicide.

Zagrev

Hey, I didn't commit suicide!

St. Peter looks at Zagrev with a "Spare me" look.

Satan (off-camera)

Yeah, sounds like a real bright light. (sigh) Send him down. Jesus.

St. Peter

Elevators are behind you to the left.

Zagrev

But-

St. Peter (waving)

Buh-bye.

Zagrev (turning away)

Shit.

[/b]

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  • 2 weeks later...

That's about the 2cd funniest thing Ive seen......(more so DT's rendition than the nutcase

getting fanged). Perhaps he was influenced by the old Monty Python routine..." I want to

be a lion tamah!"...... :)

This is almost as memorable as the pro-sandanista protestor who

sat on the RR tracks to block a Navy train that they claimed was carrying supplies to

the Contras...back in the early 80s. preditable results that left me and a friend rolling

uncontrollably in the floor. Yeah, we felt a little guilty.... for maybe a second, but then we got over it.....and kept guffawing. That fool somehow survived his own selfindoctrination-induced thought filtering, unlike this poor slob. :shock:

Oh yeah, come to think of it, I saw that on CNN when it happened.....man these CNN guys

are a real hoot. :D

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