CaptJackG

http://www.theospark.net/2010/06/video-old-666.html

TOUCHING STORY ABOUT A REALLY SENSITIVE MAN THE ROOM WAS FULL OF PREGNANT WOMEN WITH THEIR PARTNERS. THE INSTRUCTOR WAS IN FULL SWING TEACHING THE WOMEN HOW TO BREATHE PROPERLY WHILE TELLING THE MEN HOW TO GIVE THE NECESSARY ASSURANCE TO THEIR PARTNERS AT THIS STAGE OF THE PREGNANCY. SHE SAID "LADIES, REMEMBER THAT EXERCISE IS GOOD FOR YOU. WALKING IS ESPECIALLY BENEFICIAL. WALKING STRENGTHENS THE PELVIC MUSCLES AND WILL MAKE DELIVERY THAT MUCH EASIER!" SHE LOOKED AT THE MEN IN THE ROOM, "AND GENTLEMEN, REMEMBER -- YOU'RE IN THIS TOGETHER --- IT WOULDN'T HURT YOU TO GO WALKING WITH HER." THE ROOM SUDDENLY GOT VERY QUIET AS THE MEN ABSORBED THIS INFO. THEN A MAN AT THE BACK OF THE ROOM SLOWLY RAISED HIS HAND."YES?" ANSWERED THE TEACHER. "I WAS JUST WONDERING IF IT'S ALL RIGHT IF SHE CARRIES A GOLF BAG WHILE WE WALK?" KINDA BRINGS A TEAR TO YOUR EYES, DOESN'T IT?

Texas bank robber A hooded robber burst into a Texas bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door, a brave Texas customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robber's face. The robber shot the customer without a moment's hesitation. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone else, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence. The robber yelled, 'Well, did anyone else see my face?' There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly afraid to speak. Then, one old cowboy tentatively raised his hand, and while keeping his head down said, 'My wife got a pretty good look at you.'

Thanks guys Sorry I haven't been around lately but I left to go to work on Aug 15 and should make it back home on the 17th of Sept. I'm doing back to back work periods to turn my schedule around for the upcoming holidays. I'm currently in Anchorage to do a trip at 2 in the morning to Columbus, OH and then JFK. Looking forward to getting back and doing some real flying with you guys.

The guy that owns the musuem also owns Evergreen International Airlines, the company I work for.

I see where Rise of Flight is coming out with an updated boxed version with all the game updates and several available a/c. I've seen a lot of good writeups about this game so I've ordered this game and hopefully will be pleased with it. Many years ago I really enjoyed Red Baron so I'll let you guys know about ROF when I get it.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=oaBD_sF-sWQ and this http://youtube.com/watch?v=qJL5jC38HRE

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1799271

http://youtube.com/watch?v=1q_WDX2Ilhc&feature=related

I've got a bridge game that I'll be playing in until 2130 so hopefully you'll still be on when I get home.

A touching Home Depot story Kurt was fixing a door and found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife Mary to Home Depot. At Home Depot, Mary saw a beautiful bathroom faucet while she was waiting for Walt (the manager) to finish waiting on a customer When Walt was finished, Mary asked, 'How much for that faucet?' Walt replied, 'Because it's pewter, it costs $300.00.’ 'My goodness that sure is a lot', Mary exclaimed. Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Kurt had sent her to buy and Walt went to the back room to find it. From the back room Walt yelled, 'Mary, you wanna screw for that hinge?' Mary shouted back, 'No, but I will for the faucet.' This is why you can't send a woman to Home Depot.

I found them in the missions tab.

TheLesbianCowboy.wmv

Streak, I use the ch rudder and I had to check the cm programmer/loader to see which control the rudders were assigne and which axis. I then went into the game "axis assignment" under control and made the rudder match. Since CH uses each separate control on its' own usb, the game sees each separte controller but assigned all the axis the each controller and the rudder had the wrong assignment. So I made each controller use its' own axis and corrected the rudder and everything works just fine now (only took me 4 hours to figure that out). And I also had to go to each a/c and correct each one.

Snacko I'm out in Denver doing recurrent ground and sim until the 13th. When I get back home I'll be up for any time..

It took me a couple of hours to figure out the control set up in the game to get all the CH controls working. Now I'm programming the the Fighterstick & Throttle and should be able to have 3 seperate modes (t/o, land, nav mode...A to A mode...A to Ground mode). Since I'm new to CH this is also a learning process to get everything working.

I have all ch controls and when I looked in the game it saw the controls. When I assigned the axis controller to pitch, roll, yaw and then the throttle it would switch between yaw and throttle. But when I checked the control output on the right they all appear to be working normally. I then started the game and all the controls work just fine. Haven't started with TIR yet.

I just got FC 2 yesterday and am currently working on a joystick profile

any you guys might enjoy this also...this is what I did flying the older 74's...I would have been the clown to the left and finally the flying lesson http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hEYiqkw ... re=related

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop.. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, 'Come on son, how about giving a senior citizen a break?' He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So my wife called him a #*+% -head. He finished the second ticket, and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus, and the car had an Obama sticker. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.

Your link lead me to this link Which lead me to this link Which lead to this link

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift!! A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer. The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....?? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries);pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best. I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and... HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!! WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!! WHAT THE.... !!! I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room. Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution: There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return! PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it! If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!

Courts These are from a book called "Disorder in the American Courts" and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. 'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked. 'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered.