Vending Machine Disclaimer

[DoubleTap]

Having been fed up with the "quirks" of the snack vending machine in my workspace, I posted the following on it. I intend to keep posting until they replace the #&%(* thing, or I am ordered by my boss to stop:

OPERATING NOTES FOR VENDING MACHINE

This snack machine may look very similar to ones you have used before, but there are several important differences of which you should be aware.

1) The prices listed do not necessarily reflect what you will be charged. This is due to unexpected fluctuations on the International Snack Food Commodities Market, which is pretty volatile. While it might SAY $.75 for that candy bar, the machine might actually charge $.85. On the other hand, it might say $.95 but you will only be charged $.85. While the latter is far less likely than the former, it is hoped that the excitement of not knowing makes it a pleasurable experience nonetheless.

2) The term ‘freshness’ is subjective. While the dates on the packages might seem within the expiration period, those cookies you bought (oh, say, just for an example, those Famous Amos down there on the bottom row) might be a little soft side. Just think of them of those tasty chewy style cookies those elves make. Delicious!

3) This machine reserves the right to keep money fed into it as a “Service Feeâ€

[DZ9]

Hahaha

i may want to steal that, our vending machine has a mind of its own too. like when it decides if you deserve change or not, or perhaps decides on a more appropriate choice of beverage

[B16Enk]

More brilliance from our Propaganda Officer.

Another 'Article' in the making, adds to the interesting reads on our site?

[JensenPark]

I fear a coming murder/vendicide situation coming up.

[Enforcer57]

YES! this is so ironic that Im lauging so hard i just stained my drawers again. Back in 79, as a 21 yr old dispatcher at the FCPD on third shift, I left a very similiar note on the vending

machine. Mine was ridden with obscenities and profanity, but was similiarly imaginative; It's

amazing the creativity hunger and anger together will stimulate.

This MUST be preserved somewhere on here, preferable as a guide for reproduction.

[Dubbo]

LOL. Brilliant. Let us know what, if anything, is said by your co-workers, boss, os vending machine guy.