Jokes #245

[GreyKnight]

Some olden, some golden....

A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labeled LSD?'

Granny replies, f**k the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!

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Little Billy asks his dad for a telly in his room. Dad reluctantly agrees. Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks, 'Dad, what's love juice?'

Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex.

Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement.

Dad says, 'So what were you watching?'

Billy says, ' Wimbledon .'

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A woman standing nude in front of a mirror says to her husband, I look horrible, I feel fat & ugly, pay me a compliment.'

He replies, 'Your eyesight is perfect.'

***************

Wife gets naked & asks hubby, 'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?'

Hubby looks her up & down and replies, 'Your sense of humour!

***************

An elderly couple are attending Mass.

About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?'

He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'

[Tribunus]

A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labeled LSD?'

Granny replies, f**k the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!

:k9lmao:

Here’s my contribution.

A woman told her husband that she wanted to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts.

Her husband tells her, "You don't need surgery to do that."

She asks, "How do I do it without surgery?"

Her husband answers, "Just rub a piece of toilet paper between your breasts every day."

"How does that make them bigger?", she asked.

"I’m not sure, but it work for your butt."