California Vs. Arizona

[BadAim]

California vs. Arizona

The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A

coyote jumps out, bites the Governor and attacks his dog.

1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi"

and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural.

2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures coyote and bills the

State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the

State $200 testing it for diseases.

4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for

diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts

a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous animals.

6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote

awareness" program for residents of the area.

7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat

rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack

somehow and for letting the Governor attempt to intervene.

9. Additional cost to State of California: $75,000 to hire and train a new

security agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.

10. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files suit against the State.

Arizona:

The Governor of Arizona is jogging with her dog along a nature trail. A

Coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.

1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her State-issued pistol and keeps

jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that's why California is broke.

[Tribunus]

It was the Texas Governor Mate, not Arizona.

Governor Perry killed the offending Coyote with a Ruger .380 automatic.

In honor of the Governor’s action, Ruger released a limited edition commemorative model, the ‘Coyote Special’

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2010/05/25/2010-05-25_texas_gov_rick_perry_honored_with_new_coyote_special_pistol.html

[GreyKnight]

Funny!

Jogging in Texas...

1) Expensive sneakers/trainers - CHECK!

2) Shorts & T-Shirt - CHECK!

3) I-pod/MP3 player - CHECK!

4) Heart rate/Pulse monitor - CHECK!

5) Fully loaded .380 automatic - CHECK!

[BadAim]

I didn't realize there were any real life parallels, I just thought it was a funny joke. It's certainly a good idea to be armed though, when your out in the wild (assuming you can hit anything).

[Tribunus]

I’ve got to get you to Texas Mate.

You’d like it there.

[BadAim]

I’ve got to get you to Texas Mate.

You’d like it there.

I missed this. Yeah, I'm sure I would, moving there has been the subject of discussion on more than one night when I'm hangin' with my posse. My buddy's business partner has dual citizenship, he comes up to Connecticut to work for the summer (they're pool guys), and spends the winter in Texas.

[Tribunus]

I’m sure that you would feel right at home in Texas, you would not have any problems fitting in.

Your friend is a wise man, if he winters in Texas and only goes up north to relieve a bunch of Yankees of their money.

Also, please don’t worry about the Texas citizenship requirements. Citizenship in the Republic of Texas is open to everyone. Being a Texan is more a state of mind and a desire to live free, than just a stack of documents.

[T_O_A_D]

Only problem with Texas is its' Hot, sometimes so hot you can't tell if your barrels are getting too warm.