Beebop-RIP Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.' The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien became angry at the lack of response. The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.' The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response. Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!' The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to do that! I really don't think you should make him mad' 'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch. Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head. 'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?' The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, it's not to mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder and then stick it in his ear.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T_O_A_D Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 :k9lmao: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strider Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jediteo Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 Very clever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hazard1 Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 :laughing1: very nice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hazard1 Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 A man was laying in bed with his new girlfriend. After having Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blairgowrie Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 Classic hazard! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JensenPark Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 Hazzard - that is classic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hazard1 Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 hehe stuff to give you nightmares....but nowadays you got to be careful. A Flat Stomach A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.. The son sees his mom and asks, 'What were you and Dad doing?' The mother replies, 'Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it and help flatten it..' 'Your wasting your time,' said the boy. 'Why is that?' the mom asked puzzled. 'Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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