1. DDz Quorum B16Enk Posted January 1, 2007 1. DDz Quorum Report Share Posted January 1, 2007 MAMA'S GIFTS Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city. The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama." The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house." The third said "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her." The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it." The other brothers were impressed. After the holidays Mom sent out her thank you notes. "She wrote: "Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway." "Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks." "Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same." "Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blairgowrie Posted January 1, 2007 Report Share Posted January 1, 2007 Good one Rog. Now I know what happened to your African Grey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psycho Posted January 1, 2007 Report Share Posted January 1, 2007 OK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer57 Posted January 2, 2007 Report Share Posted January 2, 2007 Now thats rich.......heh heh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Posted January 5, 2007 Report Share Posted January 5, 2007 I'll add one too, An elderly Italian man who lived in the outskirts of Monte Casino went to the local church for confession. He said: "Father, during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy. So I hid her in my attic." The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, my son and you have no need to confess that." "It's worse than that, Father. She started to repay me with sexual favors." The priest said: "By doing that, you were both in great danger. However, two people together under those circumstances are greatly tempted to act that way. But if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are forgiven." "Thank you Father. That's a great load off my mind. But I have one more question." "And what is that?" said the priest. "Should I tell her the war is over?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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