CAPTURED REPORTERS

[Bonger]

CAPTURED REPORTERS

Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, Cokie Roberts, and a tough old Marine were

all captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told

them that he would grant them each one last request before they were

beheaded.

Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of hot

spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned

with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."

Peter Jennings said, "I am Canadian, so I'd like to hear the song "O

Canada" one last time." The leader nodded to a terrorist who had

studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some

rag-tag musicians and played the anthem. Jennings signed and declared

that he could now die peacefully.

Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my

tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen.

Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job until

the end." The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder

and Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die

happy."

The leader turned and said, "And now Mr. U.S.Marine, what is your final

wish?" Kick me in the ass," said the Marine. What?" asked the leader?

"Will you mock us in your last hour?"

"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the

Marine. So the leader shoved him into the open and kicked him in the

ass. The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled out a

9mm pistol from inside his cammies and shot the leader dead. In the

confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M-16 rifle and

sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, all the Iraqis were either

dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying Rather, Jennings, and Roberts, they asked,

"Why didn't you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them

to kick you in the ass first?"

"What!" replied the Marine, "And have you three report that I was

the aggressor?"