3 men arrive at the gates all at the same time , St. Peter says " We're kinda full right now , I'll listen to your stories and the best one gets in .
guy1; I was an acrobat living in an apartment on the 15th floor doing some exercises out on my balcony when I accidently flipped over my railing . I managed to catch myself on the railing of the balcony below me and was hanging and yelling for help when a madman came out of the room with a hammer and smashed my hands till I fell . My fall was somewhat broken by a large tree and I wasn't killed ! But I looked up a moment later to see a huge white thing coming at me and thats all I knew .
St. Peter says thats quite a story , grab a seat on that bench.
guy2; I was a married guy living on the 14th floor of an apartment building . i think my wife was cheating on me so I came home early today and found strange shoes by the door and my wife was in bed alone but naked . I tore through the apartment looking for the guy only to see a man hanging from the rail on my balcony . Losing it , I grabbed a hammer , smashed his hands and watched him fall , only to see a tree break his fall . Losing it some more I rushed into the apartment , grabbed the fridge and wrestled it out and over the rail to fall on him. Apparently the strain was too much for me and I had a heart attack .
St. Peter says holy mackeral , you better go sit with guy #1 over there and have a talk .
guy3: I'm hiding in a fridge having a smoke after sex ................................