You've quickly found out that this is the key to fighting as a unit.
While it might seem like this is just lost opportunities for kills it's the difference between a quick fight where 2 of the enemy goes down and then one of you is damaged and a longer fight where ALL the bad guys are eventually eliminated.
You spot a bad guy and turn in. The guy in the best position to shoot becomes the leader. Wing tries to stay with him in trail and glance around. Always try to be the highest pair of planes in the fight.
Any enemy planes get above you, you're defensive, extend away and get sorted out.
When your target dives away, let him go. You'll easily kill him when he's struggling back up for altitude later. If your target is dragging you down or another pair is climbing above you, break off and regain the energy advantage of altitude.
If one does get a shot, don't stay with the bad guy. 4 enemy damaged, limping home and out of the fight is better than 2 kills.
Take a shot, call "breaking up and left" then look for threats, check the tail of the shooter. Your wing takes a shot as he goes by and knows to break up and left to look for you. If he doesn't see you right away he calls "blind on you". You tell him where to look "I'm medium (distance) your high 9".
My "whisper to wingman key" gets more use than the transmit key on TS.
The only problem with co-ops is that the enemy is always together in one location.
Online they come from any direction in ones and pairs, at any time during the fight. Even when fighting you're trying to spot others entering the battle.
Coops would be better for training if the fighters came in with more flights of 2. Maybe a dogfight with triggers so they're more random.
Or enemy on patrol routes that will engage if the fight wanders in to their view.
And......sorry but you gotta shut them icons off. You will spend a lot of time finding each other (I'm due north at 5500 feet) but this is a lot of what it takes after you get separated by some random pilot showing up in the fight and stripping off your wingman.
Here's a good video on formations - very much how we try to fly. We never get to fly as a 4 ship though. As pairs we take the 2 outside positions of the 4 ship formation, leaving the center as open space.
Only the first bit applies at this point, maybe 2:30 to 7 min