Beebop-RIP Posted May 31, 2009 Report Share Posted May 31, 2009 2 mor 4 U: Tom’s Tattoo: Tom gets home late one night and, Nicky, his wife asks, 'Where in the hell have you been?' Tom replies, 'I was out getting a tattoo.' 'A tattoo?' she frowned. 'What kind of tattoo did you get?' 'I got a hundred dollar bill on my penis,' he said proudly. 'What the hell were you thinking?! She yelled, shaking her head in disgust. 'Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his penis?' Well, One, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my hand.. And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want. Tom is recovering in Room 232 at Our Saint of the Sheep Hospital ***and*** SUNDAY MORNING SEX On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Susan went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, he had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Susan told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realising our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding, and out on the Dong." She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "and if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!" "One ringy-dingy, two ringy-dingy's..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold_Gambler Posted June 1, 2009 Report Share Posted June 1, 2009 ROFLMAO!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rico Posted June 1, 2009 Report Share Posted June 1, 2009 lol!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer57 Posted June 4, 2009 Report Share Posted June 4, 2009 Heh heh. The jehovah witlesses will be highly offended. I love it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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