Who says mechanics don't have humour?

[Lothar]

Some really used quotes.

I've got a slight feeling I've already read these on this forum. But if it isn't the case I wanted to share them with you.

Here we go:

P = The problem logged by the pilot.

S = The solution logged by the mechanic.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.

S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in "altitude-hold" mode produces a 200-fpm descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're there for!

P: Transponder inoperative.

S: Transponder always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: The T/C ball seemed stuck in the middle during my last turn.

S: Congratulations! You've just made your first coordinated turn.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.

S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

P: Radio switches stick

S: Peanut butter no longer served to flight crew

P: Screaming sound in cabin at start-up

S: Company accountant deplaned

P: Funny smell in cockpit

S: Pilot told to change cologne

P: Aircraft 2,400 lbs over max weight

S: Aircraft put on diet of 92 octane

P: #3 engine knocks at idle

S: #3 engine let in for a few beers

P: #3 engine runs like it's sick

S: #3 engine diagnosed with hangover

P: Brakes howl on application

S: Don't step on 'em so hard!

P: Radio sounds like a squealing pig

S: Removed pig from radio. BBQ behind hangar tomorrow

P: Whole aircraft smells like BBQ

S: Ground Checks OK

P: First class cabin floor has a squeak

S: Co-pilot told not to play with toddler toys in cabin anymore

P: Electrical governor is broke

S: Paid off governor's debt to Jimmy "The Fish" Galvano

I've taken them from http://www.skygod.com/quotes/flyingjokes.html

[Smash]

Lol i like this one

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

Good one lothar lol.