1. DDz Quorum B16Enk Posted June 30, 2011 1. DDz Quorum Share Posted June 30, 2011 A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. 1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. 2. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 3. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. 4. If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong. 5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. 6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left. 7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. 9. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. 10. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? 11. Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish. 12. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks. 13. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "In an emergency, notify:" I put "Doctor". 14. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. 16. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 17. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas! 18. Hospitality: Making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were. 19. I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot. 20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away. 21. I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila. 22. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. 23. You're never too old to learn something stupid. 24. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and then call whatever you hit, the target. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BluBear Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 tee hee, very good! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crash Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and then call whatever you hit, the target. Thats good advice I remember someone saying "Jeez, what are they doing there" after a bombing run Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1. DDz Quorum B16Enk Posted June 30, 2011 Author 1. DDz Quorum Share Posted June 30, 2011 My personal favourite is the work station one.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2. Administrators Jabo Posted June 30, 2011 2. Administrators Share Posted June 30, 2011 Nice to see you keeping up the literary standards around here Rog. After all, none of the teachers are at work... Jabo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DD_Brando Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter partof a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. We only have your word for this, Rog It isfrequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. Paraprosdokian?Are you just trying to win a game of Scrabble out there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1. DDz Quorum B16Enk Posted July 4, 2011 Author 1. DDz Quorum Share Posted July 4, 2011 We only have your word for this, Rog Paraprosdokian?Are you just trying to win a game of Scrabble out there? Did I win? The font of all misleading knowledge has an article on it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DD_Brando Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 We only have your word for this, Rog Paraprosdokian?Are you just trying to win a game of Scrabble out there? Did I win? The font of all misleading knowledge has an article on it with a late 20th century neologism you score double Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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