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Painless, you are hereby notified of prosecution pending against you.


Cold_Gambler

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To: "Painless", member of the Il-2 Squadron "Danger Dogz" (hereinafter referred to as DD).

From: "Cold_Gambler", prosecutor, legal counsel representing DD.

Charges:

1- Breach of Standing Squadron Regulation.

It is asserted herein that the individual, known as "Painless", was at all material times, and remains, a member of Danger Dogz squadron.

As such, it is submitted that Painless knew, or ought to have known, of the Regulations, written and unwritten, of said squadron. It is more particularly submitted that Painless knew, or ought to have known, of the practice whereby "what happens in the meadow, stays in the meadow".

Exhibit A- hereto attached, was provided by an anonymous source.

EXHIBIT A

Shameless.jpg

The anonymous source, Witness B, will provide sworn testimony at the hearing that he is not a member of DD, and that the defendant, Painless, knowingly provided Exhibit A to a non-member in support of his statements of sexual exploits.

The prosecution submits that the Regulation is based upon the need for discretion to uphold the DD reputation. The conduct of the defendant constitutes a clear breach of the regulation.

For this same reason of discretion, the prosecution seeks, by way of preliminary motion, the imposition of both a media ban and an in camera hearing.

The prosecution submits that the actions of the defendant require nothing less than the imposition of the highest sanction available to the Court. The prosecution therefore seeks an order that the worker wear Lederhosen for a period of one month, while flying exclusively Axis aircraft.

Respectfully submitted,

Cold_Gambler

Prosecutor,

Internal Affairs, Danger Dogz

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Great, now you need to interpret that for the hoi poloi.

e.x.:

In camera - the meeting will be held inside a Canon Rebel camera, behind closed doors.

Why can't lawyers write in English??

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LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

(gasp!)

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

(snort)

ahhhhhhh LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

oh the pain, oh the pain!!

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

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  • 1. DDz Quorum

~S~ CG sir,

In my defense I would like to submit to you that I have known that animal for some years and more than that have grown very fond of her.

Furthermore I have funded her education for over two years now which surely gives me certain "rights" ??

To add perspective to the charges leveled I would also like to submit a photograph clearly showing my good character whilst off duty.....

Respectfully,

38_27453698a1716364f5877d8a2d18955b

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  • 1. DDz Quorum

So funny!

But....

Doesn't that Exhibit A clearly demonstrate that he IS UPHOLDING THE DDs REPUTATION?

Or have the DDs been infested with a virulent case of Political Correctness in my absence?

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Funds received, the charge has been withdrawn... and yes, you may wear the lederhosen anyways.

@ Rattler, do you realize that if you mere mortals understood half our jargon we wouldn't be able to keep ourselves in style?

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  • 4 months later...

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