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In the spirit of Christmas.....


Friar

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  • 1. DDz Quorum

In the spirit of Christmas, as I was out walking this morning, I decided to look in on my local Catholic Church. The Church was quite busy, must have been some special service or something. The bloke at the front was giving some sort of travel reveiw I think, I must say that I was not giving him my full attention. He was talking about some husband and wife of a friend of a friend of a friend, you know the usual story, who had been on holiday to some tourist hotspot and had been over booked and had been given an alternative of some flea-pit hotel called the "The Stable" or something. That was the gist of the stoy anyway. He did not have my full attention because sitting in the front row was a group of hot looking Nuns. I thought to myself that I did recall any of the Sisters saying that they were going to be visiting my part of the world, but I know that their work takes them to many places (although Suffolk seems to be a bit of a no-go area for some reason at the moment).

The upshot of this visit was that, overtaken by the ceremony, and the atmosphere of forgiving etc, I found myself in the queue for Confession. I waited in line just as all the others had for my turn to go into the little box and speak with with the Father in private.

My turn came, and in I went.

"Forgive me Father for I have sinned, I have gloated at the mis-fortune of another man" I uttered, rather nervously, never having done anything like this before.

The Preist was on the ball, he said "I dont seem to recognise you my child, have you not been to Confession before?

"No" I replied. "This is my first time at Confession. You see I play this game on the world wide web called IL2 Sturmovik. Its an on-line world war 2 dog fight game and its really cool, you get to fly all sorts of aircraft and the flight model is brilliiant and you can build your own missions and everything. Well last night, I was playing and this bloke called Doubletap, thats not his real name, thats Glen, but we all use Nicknames when playing, mine is Friar-one, but I dont think that you want to hear about how I got it. So anyway, Doubletap and I were engaging in this dog fight (thats when two planes try and shoot each other down, although the squadron I fly with are the DangerDogz, but that is co-insidental), he thought that he could duck down under me, I was flying a FW 190, I am not sure what he was in, so he pulls down below me, I bank my wings over and down to the left, thinking that I may try and follow him, well, he disappears below my nose, so I think, what the hell, opps sorry Father, the FW has a shed load of ammo, I think the lead (the distance you aim in front of a plane so that he flies into your bullets) is about right, so I pop off a few rounds. BAM ! he losses a wing. Well, he was rather surprised I can tell you. "Was that you Friar" he exclaimed. "Yea, it was me" I cooly replied, sounding as if I had meant it. The truth is Father, it was a completly lucky shot and I spent the rest of the night telling the other members of the group about it, about how I had worked it out."

The Priest seemed a bit stunned at this. There was a short pause before he asked me "And you are telling me this because?" with a very quizicle note to his voice.

"I am telling you because I am so dammed pleased with it that I am telling anybody who is willing to listen. From here I am going to the Mosque, then then Synagogue, then the Christian church, after that the Morman Tabernacle, follwed by the Scientoligists. From there its over the road the Senior citizens "pop-in" centre and ending up at the Lost and Found department of the local railway station."

May I wish all "my flock" (steady Bbloke) a very Merry (not to much scotch BG) and Happy Christmas.

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As usual, Chaplain, well done!

You sound just like me trying to explain the game.

Dubbo was in Victoria this week and we were having drinks with a friend of mine - trying to explain how we met.

"well, you see...we met on the net...then I travelled to Vancouver...then we drank alot and he and his wife told me I could spend the night at there place...err...because we both like planes".

Doesn't quite sound right...

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Glenn,

I swear if you don't write a freaking novel and become a millionaire, I'm gonna beat the living PISS out of you!!!

UNFREAKINGBELIEVABLY HYSTERICAL m8...

Honestly man, you missed (or more correctly) "are missing" your calling!!!!

I got a really bad sinking feeling when I found out that my Naval commission had been cancelled due to budget cuts...

I REALLY WANTED to be a fighter pilot!!!

CARPE DIEM you witty bastard!!!!

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  • 1. DDz Quorum

Glenn.....

That is a classic and should be carved into granite to never be lost to the sight of man, woman, dogs or Frior One.

Absolutely freakingly astoundingly brilliant, and the best laugh I have had in this life.

Jane loved it too, and Psycho (hi Jim it's really good to see here again) is utterly on the button.

You know exactly how to put black on white in a most captivating and amusing way I have yet to encounter in my 46 years.

It is an honour to read such, and to know you as a friend ..Salute and Salute again.

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