Beebop-RIP

A skinny little guy went into an elevator, looked up and saw this HUGE guy standing next to him. The big guy saw the little guy staring at him, looked down and said, "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown. The little man fainted and fell to the floor. The big guy knelt down and brought him to by shaking him. The big guy said, "What's wrong with you?" In a weak voice the little guy said, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?" The big dude said, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown." The small guy said, "Turner Brown? Sweet Jesus, I thought you said,'TURN AROUND'!"

If you have children, you will probably recognise these.

I'm with BG on this.

::::::::UPDATE::::::: I am now working on the jet version.

That's easy....

Foo Fighters A Single Player mission based solely on my own warped imagination. Place; 3 Sisters mountains near Redmond Oregon in the heart of the Cascade Range. Time; 1948 Repeated sightings by local pilots of strange flying objects and glowing buildings in a isolated valley have got the USAF to have the local Air National Guard investigate.

Today is Veterans Day and I thought I would share this with you. Posted on M4T today by AirTramp; On November 11, 1999 Terry Kelly was in a Shoppers Drug Mart store in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia. At 10:55 AM an announcement came over the store's PA asking customers who would still be on the premises at 11:00 AM to give two minutes of silence in respect to the veterans who have sacrificed so much for us. Terry was impressed with the store's leadership role in adopting the Legion's "two minutes of silence" initiative. He felt that the store's contribution of educating the public to the importance of remembering was commendable. When eleven o'clock arrived on that day, an announcement was again made asking for the "two minutes of silence" to commence. All customers, with the exception of a man who was accompanied by his young child, showed their respect. Terry's anger towards the father for trying to engage the store's clerk in conversation and for setting a bad example for his child was later channeled into a beautiful piece of work called, "A Pittance of Time". YouTube Link: If you receive this after 11:00 AM please take two minutes sometime today to remember all those who have sacrificed for their country in time of war.

My apologies to the Beverly Hillbillies Theme

Odd, you don't look like a minor. That looks to be some cool (pun? Yes.) fun.

Well I don't consider JR Jacobs to be an idiot.

I received this e-mail this morning*: Urgent Secret Business Relationship with a Transfer of Funds of Great Magnitude Dear American: I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude. I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America . My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you. I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transaction is 100% safe. This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred. Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds. Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Henry Paulson *from my good friend JR Jacobs

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.' The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien became angry at the lack of response. The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.' The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response. Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!' The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to do that! I really don't think you should make him mad' 'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch. Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head. 'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?' The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, it's not to mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder and then stick it in his ear.'

...is your computer? As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female (for example, "Steady as she goes" or "She's listing to starboard, Captain!"). Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their top five reasons for drawing this conclusion were: 1.

New members of the K9 Squadron's today held a press conference in which they said they are being "hazed" by senior members with flatulence while flying online with other members.

I found this on the 352nd Forums, posted by ramblin jack and just had to share: The Brothel A madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well- dressed, good looking man in his late 40's or early 50's. 'May I help you?' she asked. 'I want to see Valerie,' the man replied. 'Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else,' said the madam. 'No. I must see Valerie,' was the man's reply. Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $5,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left. The next night, the same man appeared again, demanding to see Valerie. Valerie explained that no man had ever come back two nights in a row - too expensive - and there were no discounts. The price was still $5,000. Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left. The following night the man was there again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for the third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs. After their session, Valerie questioned the man. 'No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?' The man replied, ' South Dakota .' 'Really!' she said. 'I have family in South Dakota .' 'I know,' the man said. 'Your father died, and I am your sister's attorney. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance.' The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain: 1. Death 2. Taxes 3. Being screwed by a lawyer

Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, "Wish you were here." -- Steven Wright

No problem. I just didn't want to be the only sheep lovin' bad boy blond around here.

I tried to download the Mission Tweeker but this is what I got when I clicked 'Download Now': "Download Manager Sorry, your account does not have access to downloads." This was also on the same page: "You are already logged in as: Beebop" So do I have to prove I've had relations with sheep to allow me to download stuff? Have I been a bad boy? Or am I having a

I'm in a 12 Step Program for that now. VERY GOOD man.

Been experimenting with making squad splashscreens a'la those made for the DangerDogs.

After a long hard night of simming....

I've edited my messages to read: "Porn surfing has been detected" "Illegal activity has been detected" "Self Abuse has been detected" I know whats really going on!

Seriously. Link Certainly not a First Edition, probably soft cover and possibly downsized but it's available now and it's affordable.